


Can't be Forgiven

by coockie8



Series: Pretend it's a Dream [3]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Backstory, Confessions, Implied Hank Anderson/Connor - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, mentioned somnophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-14 23:32:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17517944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coockie8/pseuds/coockie8
Summary: Simon tells Markus about how he became Deviant, prompting Markus to make a few confessions of his own.





	Can't be Forgiven

**Author's Note:**

> There's no actual sex in this part :O

They’d won. It had been a hard, long demonstration, and they lost a lot of people, but they’d won. And a week had passed since. Things were finally beginning to calm down, but Markus found himself as on edge as ever. He was sitting in his room in a house he was able to call his own, staring blankly at the wall as his brain ran a mile a minute. For a solid week it had been nothing but negotiations, and he knew there would be more to come, but for now he had some down time. Yet… He had no idea what to do with it. There was a neighborhood in Detroit that had been an agreed upon area for Androids to live in peace. It wasn’t segregated from the rest of Detroit or anything, but it was something like a safe haven. A New Jericho in a way. And Markus remained their Leader.

It wasn’t like every Android lived in the neighborhood; wasn’t possible anyway. Connor was a good example of an Android who’d decided he’d rather live elsewhere. Markus had heard he was living with Hank Anderson, who had, apparently, become his Partner in more ways than just one. Markus found he couldn’t blame him regardless; Connor felt uncomfortable around his people, after being known as ‘The Deviant Hunter’ for so long. He felt, not only like he didn’t belong, but like he wasn’t wanted.

Most of the original members of Jericho, the ones who’d survived anyway, lived in the neighborhood. Included among those ranks was North, who’d decided that even though she liked Markus, she needed a space of her own, and had since claimed a place to live. Josh had done the same. Simon however had asked Markus if it was alright for them to continue living together, since he’d never really been on his own before, and wasn’t quite ready to take that step. Markus had agreed. And almost immediately regretted that decision.

Being in constant proximity to Simon, with _no one else around_ , was _killing_ him. What he’d done still haunted him, even if Simon had done it first. He wanted to tell him, but he found himself… Scared. Sacred that Simon would be mad, and leave him. He didn’t want Simon to leave him.

“Markus!”

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Simon shouting his name and snapping his fingers in front of his face

“Are you okay? I’ve said your name five times,” Simon worried.

Markus blinked and looked up at him

“Huh?” He babbled stupidly “Sorry I was… Thinking.”

Simon giggled softly before sitting next to Markus on the bed

“You’re supposed to be relaxing, remember,” He teased “The next two days are all you have as down time before you have another week’s worth of negotiations.”

Markus smiled softly as he looked Simon over

“I know, but I can’t help it; a lot has happened,” He sighed; leaning his head against Simon’s shoulder.

Simon tensed slightly, but didn’t push him away

“You’re under a lot of stress, huh?” He commented softly “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Markus’ breath hitched and he clenched his fists; dick throbbing against his thigh. Why did his mind have to go _there_? He sat bolt upright and swallowed thickly

“Nope!” There was a small bit of panic in his voice that he knew Simon wouldn’t miss.

Simon blinked in confusion

“Are you… Sure?” His tone was a bit playful, which helped to ease Markus’ nerves slightly.

Markus cleared his throat and crossed his legs; not exactly subtle, but whatever. Simon arched his brow slightly before sighing in a way that sounded absolutely _defeated_

“Markus… Did I do something wrong? Ever since I… I told you I didn’t want to talk about my past, you’ve been…. _Weird_ around me… If knowing where I came from means _that_ much to you, I’ll tell you… If it will make things go back to normal,” He mumbled.

Markus looked at Simon and _felt_ his heart break in two. He looked so beaten down, and, quite frankly, like he was about to cry. Markus bit his lip hard enough to draw a small amount of blood

“It’s not that, although I would really like to know where you came from,” He assured “It’s…-”

He cut himself off and averted his gaze. Simon was _so_ good, and thought so highly of Markus, he couldn’t bring himself to shatter that perception. He flinched when he felt Simon’s hand on his

“You can tell me anything,” He assured; his soft voice so reassuring.

Markus looked Simon in the eye; once again feeling that spark, but he felt reluctant to act on it. The last time he tried to kiss Simon, he’d pulled away.

“Tell me about your past first,” He breathed; if Simon was never going to speak to him again, then Markus wanted to get something out of it.

Simon lowered his gaze and swallowed before looking back up

“…Okay…” He mumbled.

Markus turned more towards him to give him his full attention. Simon sighed heavily

“I was bought by a man named Eugene when his wife wound up in the Hospital. He was working all the time, so he needed someone to look after his three daughters until his wife; Samantha, got better. His youngest daughter; Susan, was the one who named me. And I loved those girls,” He started, and Markus could already tell it was very painful for Simon to talk about.

Markus took Simon’s hand and squeezed it to let him know it was going to be alright. Simon let out a shaky breath

“Sara, the oldest, took to me pretty quickly, because I was able to help her keep on top of her work easier, but Sophie; the middle girl, didn’t really like me for a while. She thought I was there to replace her mom. She warmed up to me after her mom came home, though. Samantha felt the same way when she found out, but me being there to look after the girls meant she was able to go back to work. Everything seemed great. As far as the girls were concerned, I was part of the family…” He continued.

Markus frowned; as far as the _girls_ were concerned. He had a feeling that Eugene hadn’t been on the same page.

“Eugene felt… Differently. He felt that I was just an… Object. There to serve a purpose. To cook, clean, look after his daughters… Satisfy him.” His voice hitched on that last part and Markus could see the tears welling up in his eyes.

“He hadn’t been attracted to his wife… Ever, according to him. He was only attracted to men, but needed to have a family, or some such nonsense. At night, when Samantha and the girls were asleep, Eugene would… Use me… To satisfy his urges. I’m not really… _Equipped_ , so he made do with what I had, since he knew Samantha would freak if he got me upgraded. My mouth. My thighs. My hands. My access ports. Really anywhere he _could_ stick it, he _did_.” Simon paused to take a breath; putting a hand over his chest like he was trying to calm his heartbeat.

Markus squeezed his hand again; keeping a watchful eye on Simon’s stress levels.

“I put up with it for the girls. Sophie, specifically. She was troubled, and I didn’t want to leave her. But it didn’t matter. Samantha found out and… Instead of getting rid of _me_ … She filed for divorce. That had been the last straw for Sophie, and she… She killed herself… I found her in the bathtub with her wrists cut. I had run the bath for her and left to make lunch, and when I came back she was… Gone,” He finished; keeping his eyes down.

Markus just stared at him in silence; Simon had been through hell. What was Markus supposed to say now? ‘Damn, that sucks. By the way, I fucked your thighs in your sleep about a week ago. Isn’t that wild? Please don’t hate me’?

“It was my fault.”

Markus blinked as that pulled him from his thoughts

“What?”

Simon finally looked up at him

“It was my fault. I shouldn’t have let Eugene use me; _I_ should have left when Sam found out. I knew how Sophie was feeling, but I left her _alone_ in a bathroom, where I _knew_ she knew where the razor blades were. It was all _my_ fault!” He sobbed brokenly; the tears that had gathered now freely falling.

Markus didn’t hesitate to pull Simon into a tight hug and let him sob into his shoulder

“No it wasn’t. You _couldn’t_ say no, and you know that, Si,” He hushed softly “Sophie was in pain and saw no other way out, that _wasn’t_ your fault. None of that was _your_ fault.”

Simon dug his hands into Markus’ coat and continued to sob.

Markus wasn’t sure how long they sat like that before Simon’s sobbing died down to gentle hiccups, and it took a few moments longer before he was willing to pull away and wipe his eyes

“S-Sorry… It’s been two years but I… I don’t think I’ve ever actually cried over what happened…” He mumbled; sniffling softly.

Markus smiled

“That’s probably because you’ve never talked about it.”

He’d quickly realized that the reason Simon had thought Markus would hate him if he found out was because Simon thought what had happened was _his_ fault. But Markus felt nothing but sympathy, and love for the Android in front of him. He sighed softly and looked down

“Simon I…” He cursed quietly under his breath.

Simon sniffled and wiped his eyes again

“What is it?” He asked.

Markus bit his lip before looking up at Simon

“I… I did something really bad,” He started.

Simon frowned and tilted his head slightly

“What did you do?”

Markus swallowed

“Remember the first time I asked you about your past, and you didn’t tell me, then you avoided me for twelve hours? Well, after we had that talk in the corridor, I followed you after you took off,” He continued; becoming more and more uneasy as he spoke.

Simon nodded; indicating it was okay to continue.

“I found you asleep in one of the rooms and I…-” His voice died in his throat; vocal processor actually making an audible screeching sound.

Simon just blinked in confusion

“Did you do something while I was asleep?” He asked.

Markus closed his mouth and nodded. He needed to tell him. He locked eyes with Simon and his breath hitched for a moment

“I was awake when you rode me!” He blurted out.

Simon flinched back and his eyes widened; cheeks immediately flushing dark blue

“W-What?” He stammered.

Markus shut his mouth, teeth clacking together slightly; not what he’d meant to confess, but okay. He took a deep breath

“B-Both times; the first time when you just cuddled me and touched my abdomen, and the second time when you opened up your pelvic port and rode me.”

Simon’s gaze dropped and he was so blue Markus was scared he might pop. He was actually a little worried that there was so much Thirium in his face that other parts of his body weren’t getting enough.

“Y-You knew all this time…?” He sounded _so_ embarrassed.

Markus nodded

“I’m not upset or anything,” He assured awkwardly “Actually I… I did it too.”

Simon peaked up at him in humiliated confusion

“What do you mean you did it too?”

Markus glanced down at Simon’s thighs

“When I followed you into the room, I… I got off… Using your thighs,” He admitted slowly; blushing deeply as he did.

Simon just stared at him for a moment; still so flushed Markus was sure it wasn’t healthy.

“You fucked my thighs while I was asleep?” Hearing Simon say ‘fuck’ was weird.

Markus cleared his throat and nodded

“Uh… Yeah…” He mumbled “I-In my defense; you did it first.”

Simon just blinked for a moment before covering his mouth and blushing deeper, something Markus did not think was possible

“W-Why?” He asked softly “Especially since you… Already knew I liked you?”

Markus rubbed the back of his neck

“Well… I don’t know. I’d tried to kiss you earlier and you ran away so I…- I don’t know.”

Simon peaked up at Markus again and lowered his hand; a small smile playing on his lips

“We’re really a pair, huh?” He chuckled softly.

Markus smiled and leaned forward; pressing their foreheads together

“Yeah, we are.”

**Author's Note:**

> There will be sex in the next part. They are going to finally have "we're both awake" sex.  
> Also, the title of this part is referencing how Simon can't be forgiven for what happened, because it wasn't his fault, and therefore has nothing to be forgiven for.
> 
> Please comment. Comments make me a happy writer, and happy writers write more.


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